Stop Punishing Yourself for Still Being in Love

Selena Gomez recently released a new song and it got me thinking. Does The Heart Want What It Wants or is it our minds and our past that actually determine what we think we need? Perhaps it’s a twisted combination of life experience and internal forces that makes us keep going back for more; to the one person who we just can’t get over. The one person who showed us that real love exists.

1415280160_selena-gomez-zoomIt’s easy to blame our hearts for holding on to people. The heart is the international symbol for love after all, but love is so much deeper than just a symbol. Love is felt in the mind, in the soul, in the pit of your stomach, in your eyes when you cry yourself to sleep over someone. The strongest love can even be felt right down to the tips of your toes. So why do we place so much blame on our hearts when it’s really a sum of all parts that lets us know what we truly want?

It’s the memories that your mind won’t let go of. It’s the good times you remember and the bad times you have chosen to forget. It’s the butterflies you feel when you think of their smile. These are the things that dictate what we want. These are the factors that hold you back from moving on and allow you to disengage from anything or anyone that might try to replace the previous love you felt.

So yes, the heart does want what it wants but it’s only partially to blame. Love, in general, is the true culprit and love is not something for the faint of heart. Love shakes up our lives and carries us into the eye of the tornado. It gets us high and leaves us wanting more, begging for just one more moment, one more second of that feeling. It rearranges our minds and compartmentalizes our thoughts until the only thing we can think of is being with that person and how much happier life was when they were in it.

Love is not patient nor kind. It is swift and mean and it takes hold of you until you no longer own your heart. Love that is lost comprises the blinders that cover your eyes and keeps you from moving forward. It is amazing and wicked at the same time. Yes, the heart can want but it is love that makes you need. Perhaps it is all one and the same?

When love goes right and the heart is full, there is nothing better in the world. It is only when love is present but not within your grasp that you really learn how much it truly hurts. People will tell you to move on. You’ll tell yourself to move on, because you know you should, but at the end of the day you don’t really want to. You don’t want to move on from the love that shook the earth beneath your feet and left you content to be free-falling. One part of your brain wants to get over it while the other part is desperately grasping to the memories and the feelings you know are still alive. It’s like your love is on life support and you can’t bear to give up on it yet, you just can’t pull the plug.

So yes, the heart wants what it wants, but so does the brain, the eyes, and the butterflies in your stomach. Even if you know you should let love go, remember that what you feel is rare. Don’t stop living and making new memories and definitely don’t forget that YOU are the most important person in your life. Don’t bank on getting back together with the person you love so much but don’t punish yourself for still loving them either. Accept it and know that you will always feel that love, no matter how many days, months, or years pass you by. Blame your heart all you want but take ownership of your feelings and be happy that you at least had something so special at one time.

The Love Hawk

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