I recently read a pretty controversial post called “Why Good Girls Have Become Unicorns” and while I found myself agreeing with some parts of it, there were some things I was conflicted with.
Perhaps it’s true, maybe good girls have become unicorns but good women are still around. Good women do still exist and are much more real and prevalent than unicorns will ever be. Of course, behind some good women there lives a bad girl past, but that’s what growing up is all about, right?
Yes, the girls in today’s society have totally taken on a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. Why wouldn’t we? We’ve grown up being told how important independence is, we’ve been bombarded with these images of strong women and told that we too can be like them. We have been exposed to sexualized music videos and movies since before we even knew what sex was and now that girls are into one-night-stands it suddenly means we don’t respect ourselves?
I am in no way a feminist. Feminism actually confuses the shit out of me because it seems as though it’s always contradicting itself. I couldn’t care less what the hell other women do and I think the girl with her tits out in Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video is, just that, a girl with her tits out. Does it mean she doesn’t respect herself? I doubt it. Does it mean she’s not a unicorn? Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t… I don’t know her personally so that is something I’ll never know.
There’s a big difference between women and girls. I think our society needs to start broadening the term “girl” though. Because being a girl doesn’t stop when you turn 18. You don’t magically become a woman overnight. You have to live your life, make mistakes, and fuck some assholes before you gain the experience and wisdom that comes with being a woman. I’m sure there are plenty of 35-year-old girls out there and maybe some 21-year-old women. Age really isn’t the deciding factor.
But when you’re a girl, growing and learning, what’s wrong with being wild? What’s wrong with one-night-stands or taking pictures of you and your friends at the beach. Sure, everyone has gotten a bit obnoxious with the Instagram selfies and shit and yeah, maybe some girls do sleep around a bit too much, but if they grow out of it when they decide to settle down, why does any of it matter?
I do think that girls in today’s society are a lot more brazen than ever before. I do think that some of them really don’t have any self-respect. I do think that both women and girls love sex and aren’t afraid to get dirty but what I also think is that girls are a lot smarter than guys give them credit for. Girls have found a tool and they aren’t afraid to use it. What used to belong to men is also now magic for girls and they’re taking advantage of it. Growing up, girls are being taught that they too can have it all: So why can’t they have self-respect AND one-night stands?
So yeah, maybe finding a good girl is like finding a unicorn but if you’re out prowling for girls then maybe you’re the one who needs to find yourself some standards. If you want to settle down so bad stop fucking girls and start gaining an appetite for women. Good women are the ones who lead daily lives, the ones who have partied and had their fun but who are now “all grown up”. The ones who are ready to settle down even if they have a one-night-stand sometimes. Being good doesn’t go hand-in-hand with being boring either. Women are all around us, even the ones with hot bodies who like to have sex. So, quite frankly, I think it’s real men who are the true unicorns. Boys though, well they’re clearly out in full force.
Not a unicorn but a good woman,
The Love Hawk
The Love Hawk 
While I understand this article, for the most part it comes down to another hash of the sexist judgements we place on each other. The simple reality is at this point you need to blur the line between the genders and determine what morally constitutes an individual who respects themselves, and is desirable.
Does self exposure (regardless of whether it’s modeling or to the point of exhibitionism), embracing your sexuality, and showing off mean you don’t have self respect? Not at all. Whether you’re a stripper, porn star, Batista, or a professional. I think self respect is the term which needs to be dropped here, because in reality it has absolutely nothing to do with that, which it seems you’ve already agreed with.
A girl who acts naughty, and then turns into a more relaxed woman didn’t go from a “bad” girl to a “good” woman. She simply grew: she tried something she liked at the time, but as her situation changed her values, and what she wanted out of life changed. So she starts to pursue that. Now here is where I would diverge from your point of view because I don’t think it’s possible for a “bad” girl to turn into a “good” woman. Firstly because in reality the distinctions of what makes a girl good or bad are entirely personal. If you want to stick with what is presently the social norm, then sorry but switching to monogamy later in life doesn’t remove the choices that were made previously in the least. There is no change that way, we are who we have always been, and those choices will always be a part of us. What has been given was already given, and even if this “good” woman wanted to, she could never reverse time and give a “good” man who was a “good” boy, the same level of intimacy as he has given her (This is an absurd way to state this but you’ll see what I mean later on).
For me it comes down to personal values, I have always been a modest person. I don’t even go to the beach on an annual basis anymore because of the amount of skin which is shown is to me borderline public indecency and makes me uncomfortable. I’m just not interested in seeing most of my female friends, or young girls in what is generally more enticing than an average girls’ underwear, it just creates an uncomfortable titillating situation that we all deal with. But that’s me, because I’m modest, and I don’t desire to share my body visually or intimately with just any Jane on the beach, or whoever happens to be a friend of friend of Facebook. Nor do I have any desire to have those mental images of people I consider good friends. For me my body is mine, for those I really want to share it with, and it will always be that way.
So in my case, would I date this woman who had the “bad” girl past? Simply put: No. Why? Because quite frankly regardless of how powerful our connection is, the uniqueness of it for both of us will not be, and I would not be interested. We simply do not share the same values as people, that is our incompatibility. It has absolutely nothing to do with thinking she has no self respect, or judging her, but my own personal values and desire for a more unique experience with my partner.
Sure after you’ve gotten to the point that you’ve had sex up in the 1k+ range does it really matter whether it was multiple partners or not? Physically unless you’ve caught an STD No. But from a value standpoint it shows a divergence between our ideals, introspect, forethought, self-control, and how much worth we put on intimacy. So in that case what you are suggesting is not correct. Because regardless of if a “bad” girl gained a desire for Monogamy in later life, the lack of a value for intimacy and forethought in earlier life still shows that our personalities, and philosophies are not compatible, and that we don’t look at life the same way. That is sadly something she will never be able to change, and you should never enter a relationship feeling like you need to make up for your past to your partner, it’s just not right.
My take on this is simple, and in my opinion a very positive one: Everyone has their own unicorn, what constitutes a unicorn for me is surely not going to be a unicorn for another man. I think the terms good and bad really need to be dropped in regards to sexuality, sex is not a bad thing, sex is just sex. It means completely different things to different people, and whether you’ve had a lot, or a little. The most important thing is not to judge, and not to feel judged. I’ve been on dates with more than a few woman in the past two years who I declined to continue to a further date once we had hashed our intimate experiences because I felt for me the number of partners they had were too high. Is that wrong? Some of those women sure felt that way, but I was not judging them, I wasn’t telling them what they did was wrong. Only that it was not compatible with what I wanted out of life, and to continue would be compromising on myself which never leads anywhere happy for anyone.
Now one of those woman freaked on me. Why? Not because of anything I had said was so overly offensive that she needed to, but because she felt insecure with her past decisions, now being faced with someone she was obviously very interested in, but about to lose because of that choice. People have to understand that letting go of your values in terms of intimacy and self exposure when young can certainly make it more difficult to find a partner, and people need to respect the fact that other people are allowed not to be comfortable with that life decision. Same as someone who does choose to put value on those things, must accept the differences it will cause between them and their peers and that it doesn’t make you better in any way shape or form. Just different.
I have no right to be pissed if I go somewhere where a girl is showing too much skin like a club, that’s like a Christian walking into a mosque and complaining there are too many Muslims. Judging her won’t do anything, and being frustrated won’t either it’ll just ruin the night for me, and if she figures out why I’m annoyed then for her too because all of that work she put into to getting herself ready that night just got flushed down the drain by one sexist ahole with a problem. Nobody has the right to judge, or push things on others, and put people down. In reality we all just have to deal with the fact that people are different, and if we don’t like something about someone it’s our responsibility to not put ourselves in a situation where that will happen (like my declining invites from female friends to go to the beach or clubs).We all have the right to choose and that’s what life is all about if not choice?
Like a wise man once said (paraphrasing): Freedom of choice is a paradox, we are all free to choose, but we are not free to evade the consequences of the choices we make.
So choose, if you want that one night stand with that hot guy you and your friends have been eying at the beach party, then go for it, pull your bikini top off, jump on the picnic table, and dance until the titillation is too great for him to resist. But if you want prince charming and happily ever after, you must realize prince charming is looking for a princess, and in his mind he may not be interested in a princess who shared her breasts with everyone at that beach party before snogging a guy, and in that moment eying that hot guy at the beach party you have to take the second to reflect and decide if that choice for a hot sweaty evening is still something you’re going to be happy with ten years from now, and if you would be happy walking down the aisle with a guy who had done the same thing as you’re about to. If the answer is yes, then more powered to you, screw everyone elses judgements and go get your man, but if the answer is no, or you don’t know, you may want to put off making that choice until you have time to really consider.
Just me 1484 cents.
The Phoenix
To Phoenix: Rebirth can not happen with out changing from bad to good or vice versa. So claiming you do not think its possible for a “Bad girl to change to be a good woman is BS If you claim the name Phoenix
Yin and yang are not the same but fit together to make a complete whole. Many people view it as a symbolization of soul-mates or your other half. In reality the greatest love anyone will feel will illuminate from the complete difference of the other individual. The balance of life depends on the other half being opposite from one another. The Bad in someone will always be attracted to the Good in others. Positives and negatives ( classic grade 7 science ). Thus if a “Bad” person truly changes its because of the influence of the good they admire so much over stimulating their soul. They will not have a choice but to change or grow if they want to love good. All values in life come from lessons and mistakes. However values need to be taught harshly in order to grow to comprehend other perspectives. Uniqueness” is not created threw being similar with someone and holding on to something. Its not even made through relationships. Uniqueness” comes from an individual’s heart. The heart they chose to show to their partner. A heart the partner should except threw the bad and good. I hope you know that Bad and Good are a inseparable duo.
I can be claimed as a whore. Courtesan of love. I donate my body to others for their enjoyment. I do not do it because of the “Bad in me, I do it simply for others not to feel alone and unconnected. Being Alone in life is the worst for anyone. Is that evil or sacrifice.? Would that make me bad by your standards? Doing this however, I can understand the values you hold. Most men will never respect a girl who does not respect her self and abuses their body; but i have to ask…do you hold these values for yourself; Or are you really just looking for someone who respects themselves.?
I believe if you truly care for someone, it does not matter how different they are. Just as long as they respect themselves and respect you. Besides that Phoenix. Anyone can change. But no one can change back. Life and Death. Yin and Yang. To change is to grow. To deny bad the chance to change is to become even worse. Zedd….
This is so true! Check out my girly thoughts and events I attend at:
http://www.housticated.com
I read through both articles, and I have a couple points.. while we are comparing women to animals albeit mythical ones I would rather have a pegasus than a unicorn. unicorns have a horn which is only good for violent acts, maybe picking stuff out of teeth or garbage off the ground and stuff. But a pegasus has freaking wings! That’s wicked man! You could fly anywhere you want! And you just have to give it alfalfa and water or something! Show me a guy that wants a unicorn, and I will show you a guy who just wants to be trotting on land and stabbing stuff. But get yourself a pegasus and you could be all over the map doing exciting crap! Flying and being all heroic! That’s bold. Not lame like a pointy headed horse.
also why be suck with horse based pretend creatures!? I mean if you have to I guess then go with a centaur chick or something like that because it makes it easier I guess to go out and stuff. people would get pretty bent out of shape if you made out with a unicorn, hell even a pegasus would be a bit odd… alot odd.. but a centaur woman would have the top half of a woman, and arguably thats the best half because its got the brains and the intellect and stuff that makes females so great! They’re fun to talk to and better than a guy for different perspectives and intellectual stimulation. Plus they can be funny and full of witty banter. plus I’d like to see a unicorn or a pegasus make a sandwich!.. not to be sexist or anything. I mean not to imply that Centaur women belong in a kitchen. They could just as easily change a tire or chop down trees or whatever. I’m just hungry right now so I thought sandwich… plus a centaur could eat at damn near any restaurant because she could eat people food, the others you’d need a feedlot or ranch or something.
So screw it I’d take a centaur woman over a unicorn or a pegasus any day of the week!
That’s my opinion. i could flesh it out and maybe write on something other than a cell phone. Aaaannnd I could probably read what you wrote or that her guy wrote. but I just find this rough interpretation of what I gathered waaaaaay morr interesting than whether or not girls are good bad saintly or slutty.
I will read them and then I guess maybe comment more better. or educated or whathaveyou.
Plus I mean what do women want!? Centaur men or unicorns or pegasuses pegasi.. I mean physiologically speaking I don’t think I could ever satisfy a horse like creature.. not to be crude, but have you seen horse bits!? I can’t compete with that nonsense! And most women I am pretty sure of the human variety don’t want to die from an intimate moment!
And why are people wanting to have relations with horse being anyway! These people are sick!
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Yay!!! Another article on how women can do what they want when they what & men better be cool with it or they can get to steppin’. Shit never fails SMH.
Yay!!! Another article on how women can do what they want when they what & men better be cool with it or they can get to steppin’. It never fails SMH.
Well i certainly don’t know about that since this isn’t the good old days anymore unfortunately.