It’s been a while since I’ve written anything new here. I really have missed sharing all of the dating and relationship advice I learned along the way, through my own personal experiences and the journeys of those closest to me. I must admit, though, there’s a deeper reason as to why this Love Hawk hasn’t actually “Love Hawked” in just about two years.

Most people might assume that I’ve been slacking with The Love Hawk because I’ve been super busy growing my Sports Tech company, as the Co-Founder and CEO. While this is very much true and a reasonable assumption, it’s one I used as cover for the most part. Being “too busy” to write about love was a nice excuse which fit my narrative but wasn’t the full truth.

I suppose the real reason I put down my Love Hawk pen was because in a lot of ways I felt like a failure in the love department. Who was I to write about love when I felt like I, myself, no longer knew the first thing about it?  How could I give anyone advice when I could barely take my own on any given day? I used to have such a positive outlook on romance and love until I woke up one day not sure the first thing about it.

As many of my followers know, I was divorced before the age of thirty when my ex-husband woke up one morning and essentially ghosted me. Therein led to the first kick at my confidence. The Love Hawk getting divorced? What an embarrassing testament to anything I ever thought I knew about relationships and love. A few months after the divorce was finalized, my Mom, my rock, passed away which shook me to the core in a whole different way. How could I write about love at all when my own heart had been shattered into a million pieces and my one true tether to love and support was no longer here?

I still wrote during those difficult years of early grief. In a way, I tried to use it as a healing tool but most days, I didn’t care at all. I didn’t care about much during that time. I was a fucking mess whose biggest accomplishment sometimes was getting out of bed and taking a shower. Grief can do that do you. It will kill your spirit slowly if you let it. And I can admit, I let it. Hard.

Eventually, I emerged from my hole of darkness and desperation and found showering to be important again. From there I co-founded my now, wildly successful startup FanSaves, alongside Kris who began as my colleague, turned business partner, turned life partner and together we took on the world. Part of our branding was that we were “Dating Co-Founders” and while I used it as some inspiration for The Love Hawk throughout the years, writing about our relationship never resonated with me (or I think anyone else for that matter). I was scared to write the wrong thing on here and affect the FanSaves brand and I was scared people would judge our relationship and think the company was doomed if I ever got too real.

Mostly, I think we were both always more inspired by our business acumen and our ability to grow our company together than our “love story”. Kris and I ended our romantic relationship nearly a year ago now, once we realized we were always better friends and business partners than anything else. We still care deeply about each other, and we will always be family but for those six years of my life, The Love Hawk forgot what real, true, butterfly evoking, can’t eat, can’t sleep, heart pumping love felt like. So, who was I to write anything about it?

But in my heart, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I’ve always thought that everyone deserves a shot at love and that the things we don’t know yet just lead us on a journey to improve and become better people and partners. Which is what I spent most of 2023 doing. Working on myself, healing my trauma, building my confidence back up and remembering why I love love so much.

Eventually I also started to remember exactly why I started The Love Hawk nearly 12 years ago, while sitting at my desk at my corporate job, looking for something fun to do on my lunch break. The Love Hawk was always about so much more than just dating and relationship advice. It was MY love story to the world, and no matter how good or bad it has been, my promise was always to be real.

When I started this blog, I had no clue that my in-your-face, fuck-laden take on love would garner so much attention and put me on the map. I never could have imagined that my writing would reach hundreds of thousands of people or that my articles would be published in The Huffington Post, on Elite Daily and in numerous other outlets across the world. I never thought it would lead to TV & Radio segments, a podcast, an interview for an MTV hosting gig, and people all over the world genuinely telling me my words helped them through hard times.

I truly believe my company FanSaves would not exist without the skills I learned from The Love Hawk and the confidence it gave me to not only put my writing on display for the world but also the most intimate details of my personal life. Without The Love Hawk, I don’t know where I would be today but I will be forever grateful for this little blog that truly changed my life.

I am still busy growing FanSaves and while I might not get to write as much as I once did, I think I owe it to myself to begin “Love Hawking” again. Because life can get busy, work can get overwhelming, and relationships can really screw you up but love can also be beautiful. Love can be amazing and honest and open and quite lovely. To be honest, love is what created this blog and love is what will continue to power it so here’s to renewing my passion, opening my heart up once more and wiping away my thoughts of failure and inadequacy.

Because in the end, love always does prevail. And apparently so does The Love Hawk.