So, you recently realized that the person you’ve been into doesn’t feel the same way? You thought that the feelings were mutual at one point but maybe you’ve known in your gut for the past little while that the relationship wasn’t moving in the direction you had anticipated. You knew it in your heart but hoped that you were wrong, until now. Now, you know for certain that their feelings aren’t the same.
Maybe they told you straight up or maybe they’re a coward and got their friend to do it for them. Perhaps you got ghosted hard and haven’t heard from them at all. Maybe it just finally hit you that you’ve been waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Whatever your situation, there’s really only one thing you can do at this point:
GET OVER IT. MOVE ON. LET IT GO.
I’m not talking about getting over a serious relationship or breakup here. In that case, it’s obviously going to take your heart a while longer to heal but if you were simply crushing on someone, maybe seeing them for a bit, and now it’s hitting you that it’s not going anywhere it really is time to get over it.
Thinking about moving on hurts because you’ve created expectations in your mind. You thought that maybe if the timing was better, maybe if you worked a little less, maybe if you got in a bit better shape that their feelings would somehow change for you. You’re feeling disappointed because you had expectations, you created a scenario where it could actually work out for you knowing full well it probably wouldn’t.
So now the only thing left to do is move on. Put your heart back into its little box and accept that it’s time to stop investing feelings into someone who isn’t reciprocating. Understand that just because they don’t like you back doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of a great relationship. The reality is that we can’t force someone to create feelings out of mid-air and we can’t force someone to give their heart to us.
Maybe their heart belongs to someone else. Maybe they aren’t attracted to you in the way that gives them butterflies. Maybe you remind them of an ex and they just can’t get past it. There are a plethora of reasons why someone may just not “feel it” with you and that’s not your fault. So let it go.
Stop putting energy into a person who is never going to commit to you and instead focus your energy on yourself. Start enjoying time with your friends, find projects that make you happy, and work on building your own confidence and loving yourself more.
One day you’ll find someone who will reciprocate your feelings and show you the affection you’re looking for; someone who will hold your hand in public and show you off to the world. Someone who gets those butterflies for you and would never dream of letting you go. Until then, be in a relationship with yourself and figure out what it is you’re really looking for.
Shift your focus from the person who doesn’t like you, as hard as it may be, and leave the expectations you once had behind. Life is not like the movies and love is not like “When Harry Met Sally”; People don’t often randomly change their mind one day and wake up suddenly liking you. That shit doesn’t happen. Get over it. Be nice, be cordial, but move on and take your heart with you.