It’s easy to fall into a downward spiral, sometimes. When we aren’t paying attention and we’re too consumed by the shitty things going on in our life, we somehow end up submerged in a black hole, too deep to get out of alone. Worse, we often pull those closest to us down into the hole with us making it hard for anyone to see the light ahead.
Whether it be our relationships, our friendships, our families, those closest to us always seem to bear the brunt of our heartaches and see firsthand how deep those dark holes really can be. It’s no wonder so many problems arise when the dark days become more frequent, causing a kind of vicious circle that no one can get out of. You start fighting more often because neither person can understand the changes that have slowly been occurring. You’re both mad at each other for being mad about life and being mad about the other person being mad all the time. It’s awful really, especially when no one realizes exactly what is going on.
Only once you realize you have made a home in the bottom of a deep, dank cave can you begin your journey out of it. It won’t be easy and it might test your faith but this is when it becomes mind over matter and you need to know how strong you really are. You also need to realize that you cannot judge your relationship solely on these hard times. What you need to base it on is how well you both work towards getting out of the bad place. How tightly you both held on even when you wanted to give up. That is the test of a strong relationship, of strong people.
Everyone will face hard times in their life and every relationship will go through rocky waters; the key is remembering that things WILL be good again. If you want to give up in the middle of a storm just as the shore is coming into view, then by all means be a quitter. But if you use that bit of strength you have left to hold on for just a little longer you will, again, see the light and feel dry land. Realize what’s going on and what’s bothering you and figure out how to fix it. Plan the next steps to putting a smile back on your face. Once you start moving forward you will notice everything around you, including your relationships, will start improving and everyone will feel the lifted weight of whatever was dragging you down. And if it’s your partner who is going through the difficult time, stop judging them. Stop fighting with them and following them into their hole. Be their support, their shoulder, their rock. Carry them through their worst days and know that they will do the same for you when the time be. They do not need your judgmental remarks right now or your snide comments, they need your love and if you want that love to continue to grow you need to help your partner through this storm, and any others that may arise.
Obviously, the issues I’m discussing here are the personal battles we fight with ourselves. The emotions we let consume us on bad days that cause us to be a pain in the ass to everyone in proximity. If someone is physically or emotionally draining you or hurting your spirit then that is beyond the control of your own mind. In those instances, it is totally okay to jump on the first ship outta the port, destination: happy place. Never settle for someone who hurts your body or soul, you are more than that. Help is around the corner. If it’s not a loved one then it can be a professional. Just don’t live your life in a dark cave, because you deserve the sunshine as much as anyone else does.
The Love Hawk